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girls in heaven 9/23/2004
Judgement at St.Peters gates.
A train hits a bus load of school girls and they all perish.
They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter.
St.Peter asks the first girl,"Sharon,have yo ever had any contact with a penis?" She giggles and shyly replies,"Well i once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger. St.Peter says,"OK,dip the tip of your finger in The Holy ...
0 Comments,
34 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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kick the pussy 9/23/2004
A little farm boy was walking to the school bus one morning when he began kicking farm animals. First he kicked a pig. Then he kicked a chicken. Lastly he kicked a cow. His mother,watching from the kitchen window decided she would handle the situation after he returned from school. When he comes home from school, his mother confronts him and says "I seen you this morning kicking those farm ...
0 Comments,
86 Views,
8 Votes
,4.64 Score
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catholic girls 9/23/2004
A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates pass St. Peter.
St. Peter asks the first girl, "Gloria, have you ever had contact with a penis?" She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched with the tip of my finger..." St. Peter says, "Ok, dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the ...
0 Comments,
35 Views,
6 Votes
,4.22 Score
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premature ejaculation 9/23/2004
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation. This was affecting marital relations with his wife so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem.
In response the doctor said, "When you feel the urge to ejaculate, try startling yourself".
One the way home the man went to a sports store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to ...
0 Comments,
27 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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cookies with granpa 9/23/2004
One day, a little boy goes over to his grandparents house
and is sitting out on the poarch with his grandfather. Grandpa
is drinking a beer and the little boy asks if he can have a
sip. "can your dick touch your asshole?" replies
the grandpa. He says no, so the grandpa says "well,
then you arent old enough yet to drink beer". The little
boy goes back to his grandparents house about a week ...
0 Comments,
56 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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marriage 9/21/2004
what is the difference beetween marrige and work(your
job) A:your work has fucking bennifits
0 Comments,
40 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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gay marriage 9/21/2004
Why did the Bush administration ban gay marriages?
Because they feel the only time that guys should be on top
of each other naked is in an Iraqi prison
0 Comments,
20 Views,
1 Votes
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woman vs condom 9/21/2004
wat has a condom and a women got in common they spend more time in ur wallet and less time on ur dick
0 Comments,
27 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Best friend 9/20/2004
A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple shot of Wild Turkey.The
bar tender says man thats a strong shot is something wrong.The
man says yes I found my wife in bed with my best friend.The
bar keep says wow thats bad here have one on me.The bar keep
looks at him and says do you mind if I ask what you did to them.The
guy says well I told her to pack her shit and get out.The bar
keep says ...
0 Comments,
110 Views,
15 Votes
,5.73 Score
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passionate 9/19/2004
Two police officers saw an old woman staggering down the
street. They stopped her and decided she had had far too
much to drink, so instead of taking her to jail they offered
to drive her home. The cops loaded her into the police cruiser
and one of the officers got in the back seat with the drunk
woman.
<br>
As they drove through the streets they kept asking the woman
where she ...
0 Comments,
46 Views,
18 Votes
,5.44 Score
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caught 9/19/2004
A husband and wife and thier 2 boys are watching T.V. She
looks at her husband and winks at him, he gets the message
and says "Excuse us for a few minutes boys we are going
to our room for a little while".
<br>
Pretty soon the older boy gets curios, goes upstairsand
sees the door to his parents bedroom is ajar. He peeks for
a few minutes, trots downstarirs, get his little ...
0 Comments,
42 Views,
14 Votes
,5.54 Score
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ugly 9/19/2004
your a SLUT
who loves it in the BUT
and i suggest you SHUT
just SHUT the FUCK UP
cause you and your stinky MUT
aint welcome here at all SLUT
so go back to your tin HUT
what do you weigh 200kg, FUCK
you should grab a knife and start to CUT
cut all the rolls and supply them to the bakery you fat GUT
Now go along home you SLUT
0 Comments,
33 Views,
14 Votes
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boston sox 9/19/2004
what do you call 25 guys watching the world series together?
THE BOSTON RED SOX
0 Comments,
17 Views,
9 Votes
,2.78 Score
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pirate 9/19/2004
What did the pirate say wen he got a blowjob?
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
Thar she blows!!!! =D
0 Comments,
31 Views,
10 Votes
,1.79 Score
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fat 9/19/2004
your mums so fat when she gose jogging she has to pay road
tax
0 Comments,
37 Views,
12 Votes
,1.56 Score
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what happens when you fall for 9/19/2004
A chef?
You get buttered up.
<br>
A chauffeur?
You get taken for a ride.
<br>
A gambler?
He cheats on you.
<br>
A telephone operator?
He gives you a phone-y line.
<br>
A trashman?
He dumps you.
<br>
A clockmaker?
He two-times you.
<br>
A pastry cook?
He desserts you.
<br>
A shoe ...
0 Comments,
29 Views,
11 Votes
,1.48 Score
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little girl 9/19/2004
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the
sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you
keep widdle wabbits?"
<br>
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his
knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do
you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft and fuwwy bwack
wabbit or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over
there?"
<br> ...
0 Comments,
27 Views,
20 Votes
,5.81 Score
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penguins 9/19/2004
man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The
gas-pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat
of the car.
<br>
He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins
in the back seat?"
<br>
The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself
what to do with them but, I haven't had a clue."
<br>
The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You ...
1 Comments,
46 Views,
16 Votes
,4.16 Score
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politically correct 9/18/2004
Cybersushi: (v) like cybersex, only it just smells like
pussy.
0 Comments,
29 Views,
11 Votes
,3.54 Score
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The blonde and the ventrilaquist 9/17/2004
A ventrilaquist (is this spelt correctly?) is running
thorugh his act, which mainly comprises of blonde jokes
a Safeway tro- "What's the difference between a blonde andlley - the trolley has a mind of it's own",
" Did you hear about the blonde who though the mexican
border pays rent" etc etc etc - this goes on for about
20 mins. The ventrilaquist tells one blonde joke after
another when ...
0 Comments,
38 Views,
16 Votes
,3.13 Score
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Orgasm Ends In S&M 9/16/2004
Did you ever notice that orgasm ends in s and m? Now that explains
a lot! Ah the one minute wonder; checking off the errands
that have to be run the rest of the week; wondering how to
be at soccer practice, dance rehearsal, and the HOA meeting
all half an hour before you get off work; and when that big
tall handsome jerk ran into your ass with a grocery buggy
your panties were so wet. ...
0 Comments,
50 Views,
10 Votes
,4.38 Score
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String in the Pants = Clean Hands 9/15/2004
A man went to a cafe and ordered some soup. Half way through,
he dropped his spoon .When the waiter came around to see
if everything was ok, the man told him he needed a new spoon.
So the waiter pulled one out if his pouch. The man asked,
"I was just wondering, why do you keep spoons in your
pouch?"
The waiter answered, "To save time."
<br>
So the man went on eating his soup. ...
0 Comments,
38 Views,
8 Votes
,4.41 Score
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A Brief Visit to the Doctor 9/15/2004
A man and his wife went to the doctor's office and the
doctor asked the man for a blood, urine, and feces sample.
The man was slightly deaf and said, ''What?''
<br>
Again, the doctor said, ''I need a blood, urine
and feces sample."
<br>
The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and
yelled into his ear:
<br>
''Sheldon, the doctor needs a ...
0 Comments,
46 Views,
8 Votes
,3.94 Score
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A Daring New Position 9/15/2004
Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight?
Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board and I'll
sit on the couch and drink beer and fart!
0 Comments,
51 Views,
7 Votes
,4.06 Score
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my best friend 9/12/2004
Bob walks into Charlie's Bar and orders a draft. Charlie
brings his beer over and says, "Gee, Bob, you really
look down in the mouth. What's bothering you?"
<br>
Bob replies, "You know, Charlie, I came home from
work today and found my wife having sex with my best friend."
<br>
"Man, that's blue, Bob. What did you do?"
<br>
"Charlie, I told her right out that I ...
0 Comments,
42 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score
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essex jokes 9/12/2004
an essex man went to an agency and asked for an XR3I.
<br>
essex girl cums she drops her chips
and how do you know when
0 Comments,
40 Views,
8 Votes
,2.09 Score
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don't ask why 9/11/2004
you really cannot figure anything about me. contact me,
ask me for mail, or telephone number, and all things will
be muchclearer. I'm a businessman, and I'm tired
of messages. no time for talk. call me
0 Comments,
30 Views,
5 Votes
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yyyuk! 9/11/2004
Q:What is the difference between a train carriage and a
miscarriage?
A:You can't eat a train carriage.
0 Comments,
49 Views,
6 Votes
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J.Lo and doorknobs 9/9/2004
What does J.Lo and a doorknobs have in common?
Everyone gets a turn.
0 Comments,
61 Views,
12 Votes
,3.51 Score
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10 Things In Golf That Sound Dirty 9/9/2004
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves
a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. ...
0 Comments,
36 Views,
13 Votes
,3.81 Score
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